It's a Tell-Tale Sign

A long time ago, someone told me, "If you pay close attention and be patient, people will always reveal who they are." I've found this to be very accurate. And, if you listen and observe, you will notice their tell-tale signs. Ever wonder about that phrase? I have! Of course, I went to the trustworthy interwebs to learn its origins. (Tongue-in-cheek is intentional.)

On a bulletin board from the UK, a poster said this:

The noun adjective "tell-tale", meaning [a thing] "that reveals or betrays something meant to be kept secret" dates from the late 16th century. Early uses speak of tell-tale documents, objects, faces, etc.

Recently, I began to pay attention to the emotions, thought patterns, and behaviors of others that trigger the same feelings, thoughts, and behaviors within me. I am not saying I have become a chameleon. I am saying the phrase, 'Birds of a feather," is shown to be true. And also, "like attracts like," and the myriad of other phrases similar to those. While sometimes you can't avoid the interaction, you can be aware of the effect on you and learn to temper your response if it contradicts your intentions. Let me explain.

If the daily goal is to be a positive light and source of peace in a chaotic environment, spending the majority of the day with others who trigger a behavior to "stir the pot" is contradictory to the daily goal. Similarly, if the goal is to become fit and healthy, living with those who trigger temptations to be lazy and have an unhealthy diet will not push you towards your goal. You either have to change the environment or develop new mindsets to overcome.

Becoming self-aware is a necessary part of development. However, it is not a free pass to become selfish, aloof, entitled, or inclusive, and it is not intended for isolation. Self-awareness means fully understanding your weaknesses and what triggers destructive behaviors and harsh responses. Spending time in the waking hours and before bed in reflection and development will help develop better habits to avoid situations where you walk away in regret. You will also recognize quickly when your actions and words caused pain and can promptly seek forgiveness for your mistake. And in your seeking for forgiveness, ensure you don't add "I'm sorry, but...." That is not true repentance. That is, "I feel guilty, but it's your fault."

Over the years, you may have heard me say, "What you meditate on, you empower." This phrase is the perfect way to help overcome bad behavior and emotional responses. If you repeatedly say to yourself, "Don't forget the keys," you will forget. Using positive language instead of negative will give you the desired outcome. Surround yourself with negativity will empower negative reactions. Reading, listening, or watching fear-filled media will empower fear. Perfect love drives out fear, but a fearful mindset drives out love.

Ever walk into a room, and the scent of horrible body odor assaults your nostrils like a middle-school boys' locker room after a sweaty football game? Or walk into a high-end boutique or hotel where they have spent money on a branded scent that welcomes you when the doors open? What you leave in the wake of your words and actions can emit the same scent on others. Choosing to be petty, unforgiving, mean-spirited, and selfish-minded will propel others from you, eventually leaving you bitter and alone. Instead, we should all live in the perfect tension of boundaries and grace.

My advice is the same as it has been for years. My children, Blair and Samantha, remember this well. Your words have the power of life and death. Choose Life! Always. When you do, the aroma of your presence in a room brings love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. That, my friend, should be our tell-tale signs!

Until Next Time,

DJ