Thankful for Changing Seasons

Let's begin with this: I love change. Although I'm a summer girl, I also enjoy a crisp autumn morning, the first snowfall, and a stormy weekend. At the same time, I want long stretches of T-shirt-and-shorts weather to bask in the sun. This is also why I prefer renting. I can relocate when my lease expires, even though I claim I'll never move again. When I owned a home, I rearranged the furniture annually. I painted the walls, updated the decor, added new landscaping, and explored new organization methods. I love change. However, change can sometimes be challenging. It's the uncertainty when you anticipate change but can't control it or predict its outcome. We refer to this as "The Hallway." This is where I've been all year, but it's also where I've found peace.

I firmly believe that God guides our steps. Despite this belief, there have been numerous occasions when I didn't trust it. There's a significant distinction between belief and trust. Believing in something doesn't always equate to trusting the outcome or direction. Relying on your own will to make the right decisions instead of following God's plan can lead you astray, take you down the back roads, and require you to find your way back. At the start of this year, I sensed a major change was imminent. I wasn't sure if this feeling was related to work or personal matters. Regardless, I had decisions to make. I could either take an investigative approach to determine my next move or wait for guidance. Can you guess what I did? If you know me, you know I became both Sherlock and Watson. I asked all the questions, sought wise advice from friends, read books, and updated my resume. Fortunately, God is gracious, and even though these weren't His plans, He opened doors that guided me back on track. That detour lasted 8 months. Then, I paused to listen and received partial answers, enough to realize what I should have been doing all along: sit, ask, and listen. Then step forward. Then wait, ask, and listen. Repeat.

As I sat, I realized that if I hadn't agreed to this, I would have missed out. If I had said no, this would have happened. Reflecting on the past three months, I saw how God had guided my steps, and I had followed. It offered a glimpse of what might have been if I had completely trusted Him from the start. Naturally, I sought forgiveness and expressed gratitude for His continued guidance even when I was disobedient. He is good. Now, as I sit, it is not with anxiety about what lies ahead. I sit in peace, without striving, with less stress and worry. I quiet my heart and mind, listening. I ask all the questions in my heart, mind, and soul, understanding that not all will be answered on my schedule. And that's okay. So, how did I arrive at this point?

Once I had the chance to truly reflect on that 3-month period, I began asking for anything that led me astray to be blocked. I needed to learn to follow, be patient, and find peace. I started gradually, making simple decisions at first, and then moved on to more complex ones. When obstacles arose, I questioned why. Sometimes, I received answers, and other times I didn't. I had to accept this. That was the most important lesson. I had to be okay with not getting the job, the apartment, or the relationship I anticipated. This period has shown me how much the tougher times prepared me. Experiencing significant loss, betrayal, heartbreak, a bombing, debt scams, and slander has increased my resilience to handle stress. It has also highlighted where I haven't managed stress well, where I've borne it alone, and where I've grown. This period has also revealed that, because I was called and chosen, I was targeted. The saying "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" holds true. Every time I was knocked down, I got back up. I refused to stay down or be defeated permanently. Like muscles strengthened by lifting weights, I've become stronger through the frustration of life's disruptions.

I have also made it a habit to start my day with devotion and quiet time, no matter how early I rise or how hectic my schedule is. I read my Bible and jot down notes. I listen to a few devotionals and make sure to hear at least one motivational podcast during my commute to work. I believe that everything has memory, and what you listen to, see, and hear impacts your mind, body, and soul. Starting the day with a refreshed mind makes it easier to recognize unnecessary stress and pause. Lately, I often find myself closing my eyes and breathing deeply for 10 seconds. During this time, there are books I can't bring myself to read or shows I can't bring myself to watch.

I've also made a conscious effort to surround myself with people who speak life, not death, over my circumstances. Incorporating weekly LENS Neurofeedback therapy is aiding in the recovery of my brain from trauma. I'm improving my health by balancing my hormones and maintaining a nutritious diet. Additionally, I'm increasing my physical activity by walking more, using my lunch break to recharge mentally, and getting enough rest by going to bed early. These actions are part of getting ready for the opportunities at the end of the hallway.

I'm jotting this down not just to remind myself that the season might become challenging, but also to remind you that you can find rest and peace even in what may feel like a very long, tough season. There's no shame in taking a pause. There's no judgment in starting anew. There's no embarrassment in acknowledging a mistake and needing to change direction. This frustration will only strengthen you if you let it. Take time to set your mind early in the morning. Take time to reflect. Take time to sit. In the morning, ask yourself what a successful day looks like for you. The answer shouldn't be one that adds stress. It might be something like, "I found gratitude in the message from my daughter" or "I realized I could breathe through the difficult conversation." Then, at the end of the day, reflect on what you achieved by maintaining peace. I promise that after three months, you'll wish you had learned this years ago. I know I did!

Until Next Time,

DJ