Memories. Boundaries. Development.

If you've had a Facebook account for more than a year, you are familiar with the Memories section. It is one of the places I check every day. Sometimes it's a nice reminder of fun times with family and friends or memories of loved ones no longer here. Other times, it's a painful reminder of bad decisions or broken heart moments. Either way, it's a memory.

Lately, I've been thinking about the phrase "To Remember." It's two words, but very weighty. I must take time to remember the good times and the bad, uncomfortable ones. When I take time to remember, it helps me recall lessons learned or miraculous resolutions. When I remember, it brings gratitude, which is needed for daily living. It's essential to think about the past moments when there was faithfulness, generosity, love, and care. It's also essential to think about when the heart was shattered, the feeling of betrayal, and the loss of something or someone dear. Why? Because now there is a different perspective. Reflecting on both good and bad with a different lens will bring answers to questions, see what was unseen at the moment, and unearth understanding. There have been many times I've reflected on a time when I was hurt deeply, only to discover I believed a lie because I could not see the whole truth. Looking back with a fresh perspective and a greater understanding, I was able to heal, forgive, and move on.

So remember.

Another topic I've been leaning into is Boundaries. Do not be deceived. Who you surround yourself with, who you allow in your circle, and who you listen to and entertain are the ones you will be most like. Even flirting at the edge will draw you in. The enemy's goal is to steal, kill, and destroy. It is always done in the most sly way. We think it's harmless, all in good fun, and won’t hurt anyone. And then you find yourself in a place you never wanted to be.

Have you heard the phrase "What you tolerate, you allow" or "You teach someone how to treat you?" This is all part of boundaries. It's not putting up fences or walls. It's showing others by your behavior what you allow in your life and how they should treat you. Several years ago, I heard an illustration of the perfect way to explain this. If I walk into your home and it's cluttered, messy, and unkept, I will feel comfortable putting my shoes on the coffee table. But if I walk into your home and it is clean, well-kept, and organized, I will want to take my shoes off at the door. You always show people how to treat you. That also applies to how they speak to you. If you allow someone to disrespect you, whether in private or public, they will always speak to you with disrespect, and you will have no honor among peers. But if you set a boundary to not allow dishonor towards you or others, that door will stay closed. I call it the gossip door.

Boundaries are good and can still be grace-filled.

Finally, there is personal development. Remember, the grass is greener where you water it. If you're not happy with your job, relationships, or church - WATER IT! Don't go wandering in someone else's grass. You determine the course of your life. When you take ownership of the choices you make, the words you speak, the actions you take, and the responses you give, you will mature and develop.

The past few weeks have been an internal struggle for me. I don't share much about it because I am still leaning in to learn and find answers. But I can feel a change coming, so I am mentally, physically, and emotionally preparing for it. My problem? I'm a planner, and I have no clue what is coming or what it looks like. There's just a sense, a knowing, a gut feeling. Sometimes, I stay silent and just meditate. Sometimes, I sing - loudly. Sometimes, I read or listen to podcasts. A crack in the doorway that is just enough to see the light but not big enough to understand. So I'm in development, and it's slow.

All I have is trust. Trust that what I am developing is greater than what I think possible. Trust that the best is yet to come. And to be patient. I must wait well.

Hope you find a nugget from my ramblings to help you with your memories, boundaries, and development.

Until Next Time,

DJ